How To Overcome Neediness

[TopicStarter]

Neediness is a feeling that a lot of people experience in this modern-day and age. 

With the advancement of technology, people hardly make time to get out of their phones to be with their loved ones. As such, more and more people feel insecure about themselves and fail to seek emotional attachment from their better halves. 

However, when the terrors of this feeling consume people, they often feel out of control and do things that they are not supposed to. Not only does it lead them to cross boundaries in their relationships, but it also affects their mental health. 

Depression, self-harm, substance abuse, crime - there are a ton of things that feelings of neediness can lead to, messing up your future. That’s why you should acknowledge the demons associated with this feeling and start taking steps to overcome it. 

Here’s my advice on how you can overcome neediness.

#1 Work on improving yourself: one of the main reasons you are needy is that you lack self-love. So, instead of seeking love and validation from your partner all the time, focus on working on yourself. 

Learn and develop skills that will take you further in life while motivating your partner to do the same. Not only will it make you better people, but also a loving couple.

#2 Create space for your needs: accepting your needs is a very effective way of overcoming neediness. Never be afraid of your needs, as it only makes things worse, thereby leading you to find ways to disguise or hide them. 

Doing so not only makes it harder for others to understand your needs but also tougher to satisfy them. Hence, make room for your needs and start taking them seriously, as it will drastically change your manner of expression.

#3 Try being emotionally mindful: instead of acting on your needs, try writing about the feelings associated with those needs in a journal. Don’t try to get rid of them; instead, understand them. It will help you realize and convey the needs better; ultimately, allowing you to overcome them.

#4 Get connected: believe it or not, neediness is nothing but blindly seeking things from your partner that you are not even sure of. According to studies, healthy dependency is possible only when two people are connected and value their relationships. Therefore, connect with your partner and be clear and direct in your wants.

Is neediness something you have had to overcome? What steps were helpful to you in overcoming this obstacle?

[EagleEye]

I get quite needy in a relationship, basically co-dependent. It's something I've definitely been working on since past relationships. 

[Scarlett]

8 hours ago, EagleEye said:

I get quite needy in a relationship, basically co-dependent. It's something I've definitely been working on since past relationships. 

I can be like this too. Once I get attached to someone and it becomes a habit to see them often, when things cool down and I don't see them as much, I get all panicky. I feel like I am losing them or something. 

[Ella]

I think it is sweet to be needy and feel a strong attachment to someone but I can understand that this can become too strong for people and end up causing issues in their relationship. I think if you are with the right person, it balances out. I have been told I was too needy but my husband loves being needed by me. He loves being able to do things for me and feels important in my life.