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How To Overcome An Emotional Affair


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Let's be honest, we all know the perils of sexual affairs in marriage, but what about emotional affairs? Yes, emotional affairs are a serious thing!

Tete-a-tete conversations, flirty touches, dishonesty - these are all emotional affairs that can put the last nail in the coffin of your relationship. Believe it or not, an emotional affair is cheating. It most commonly begins with a text, dinner, or shared workout, which soon becomes an intimate one. 

Although you might accidentally slip down the rabbit hole of an emotional affair, staying there is a choice. Have you or your other half slipped into this rabbit hole? You might be hurt, angry and feeling betrayed, I understand. But, an emotional affair isn't the end of the world or your relationship. 

No doubt, overcoming an emotional affair isn't an easy thing. You'll be setting yourself on a roller coaster ride, experiencing a whirlwind of emotions and having little control. But, it will all pay off in the end. 

Here's my advice on how to overcome an emotional affair:

#1 Recognize the new energy: If meeting that particular person at the office or the coffee shop gives you butterflies in the stomach and makes your brain go ga-ga over them, then this is it. I'll recommend you stop seeing them right away. 

This is one of the signs that you're involved in an emotional affair. It will put your marriage on rocks. 

#2 Break off ties with that person: If you find yourself enjoying the company of the other person more than that of your spouse, then stop right away. You've fallen deep into the pits of the rabbit hole. Immediately break off ties with the other person because this will help you save your marriage. 

When you break ties with the other person, communicate this honestly with your partner. It will help you gain your partner's trust back.

#3 Commit to rekindle the spark of your relationship: Seeds of dissatisfaction lead to emotional affairs. Figure out what led you to that emotional affair. Spending more time with your spouse, going to couple therapy, and dates can help you rekindle the long-lost spark. Be transparent with your partner and honest about your needs, wants, and desires. 

#4 Time and patience are the key: You apologize, and your partner forgives, that's not how it works. It’s important for you to mend ways to win your partner’s trust. There will be potholes down the road, so I'll suggest you be patient. Give time to your relationship, and things will soon fall into place. 

Have you ever had to overcome an emotional affair? What steps did you take to get through it?

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I have had this happen to me before. I had been unhappy with my relationship for awhile. He had lied to me and cheated on me so the trust was gone. Not sure why I stayed in it. Because I was unhappy, I started becoming more and more attached to a co-worker. We started flirting and we both had feelings for each other. We never touched but I was cheating on my then boyfriend emotionally, and I knew I was. I ended up breaking up with him and dating the other guy. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I had a friend who went through this. She would say things like "I wish he would just break up with me for a few weeks so I can sleep with ___!". I couldn't believe she was talking about her boyfriend like that. She wanted to sleep with his friend though. I haven't talked to them in a while and they are still together. They have been together since she was 17 and she is now going to be 28 soon so over 10 years. I can't imagine this was the only time she had an emotional affair either. I have to wonder if this is more common with women. 

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On 10/2/2021 at 4:19 PM, Mila said:

I had a friend who went through this. She would say things like "I wish he would just break up with me for a few weeks so I can sleep with ___!". I couldn't believe she was talking about her boyfriend like that. She wanted to sleep with his friend though. I haven't talked to them in a while and they are still together. They have been together since she was 17 and she is now going to be 28 soon so over 10 years. I can't imagine this was the only time she had an emotional affair either. I have to wonder if this is more common with women. 

That is terrible! I am the kind o person who would end up feeling guilty keeping up that lie for so many years. Had he known she said that and was feeling that way, they likely would not have lasted. 

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On 10/4/2021 at 8:35 PM, Scarlett said:

That is terrible! I am the kind o person who would end up feeling guilty keeping up that lie for so many years. Had he known she said that and was feeling that way, they likely would not have lasted. 

I know for certain they wouldn't have because he was in the process of breaking up with her over something else. Had his friend answered his phone and he got away from here that night, they would not be together today. This would have broke the camels back for sure though. 

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