Can you discourage someone's bad behavior without directly addressing it?

[Scarlett]

I have a friend who has a negative outlook on things and I would like to help her change that but I don't want to address it because I know she will get upset. Are there things I can do to discourage her negative thoughts and words without her realizing it? 

[James]

I have a child that thinks negatively a lot and I have not been able to figure out how to hide the message yet when I try to deliver another spin. Which is typically what I do is provide a different spin to the same thing. Any negative can be seen as a positive. 

In the end its all in the persons mindset and that will have to change if the behavior is going to change. Maybe show them why living a positive life works out better then a negative life. 

Negative people I typically remind them we all make choices and they are what they are. So if you are not happy about something you have to change it and no one is going to change it for you. 

[Stacey]

In my experience, you want to counteract them without being harsh about it. 

Say she says something like "I suck at my job, I feel useless!" you would say something like "No one is perfect at what they do, don't beat yourself up over it!". 

People who put themselves in a negative mindset always compare and contrast to other people, the whole haves and have nots mindset. Just change their focus point when they compare themselves. 

[Emma]

I think the easiest way is to just say it like it is. Tell her to stop being negative and to be more grateful. Sometimes the truth and a little shake helps! I know it is hard for people, especially now with all the stress in the world but you can't just expect people to be okay with you being negative all the time!

[Justin89]

I think sometimes it's best to just let it go. No matter what, your friend is going to be displeased about life if things aren't working out. I think having an honest talk with her would be best. Just talk to her. But don't be pushy. Just let her know you're there to talk if she needs you. I think letting friends know you have a friend to talk to, helps a lot.  

On 8/4/2021 at 8:23 PM, Emma said:

I think the easiest way is to just say it like it is. Tell her to stop being negative and to be more grateful. Sometimes the truth and a little shake helps! I know it is hard for people, especially now with all the stress in the world but you can't just expect people to be okay with you being negative all the time!

Yeah sometimes, but it can in turn cause more stress for that person. I think it's best not to rush into things, just take it slow. 

[Sophia]

In my experience, dropping hints helps but some people really need to know something they are doing is bothersome. They might get offended when you point it out but if they value you as a friend, they will get over it.

[Jeremy_CLK]

It is not possible to do this. Actually this can be confused to being gossiping about the other person. You should just gather the courage and talk to the person directly. Tell him or her that you are not ok with certain behaviors and that they should change. Most likely, they will already have known they are annoying.

[Emma]

On 8/12/2021 at 4:46 PM, Justin89 said:

Yeah sometimes, but it can in turn cause more stress for that person. I think it's best not to rush into things, just take it slow. 

I guess this depends on how long someone has been biting their tongue over the issue. I mean if you have a friend who you have to walk on eggshells for to spare them stress but it makes you stressed out, who wins in that situation?