Crossing the line with sexual preferences?

[Scarlett]

I am all for people being themselves. I have not and never will have an issue with people being gay, bi, lesbian, or trans. What I do have an issue with is people being attacked over their sexual preferences. I have a friend who is a lesbian and she was recently harassed online by a trans woman for not wanting to date trans women. This seems to be a growing trend on Twitter and TikTok where lesbians and straight men are being targeted by trans women for not wanting to date them or have sex with them. I never hear about this being an issue with trans men though. I am not sure what is going on but labeling people who are not attracted to you as transphobic needs to stop.  Anyone else see issues with this? 

[Quinten]

I'm sorry to hear that's happening to your friend. No one is obligated to date people they don't want to. I hate to say it, but people have preferences. If a woman is only attracted to another woman, that doesn't mean she will also be interested in a tran woman. It's the same way for me. I have no interest in dating a trans woman, because in all honesty I have no attraction there. I also want to eventually get married and have kids. Sure you can adopt with a trans person, but you can't buy or force the love either. If there is no attraction, you shouldn't be hated on for not being interested in trans women or trans men. 

But yes, I've heard stories like this in the past. Where trans men or women say that you should date them or be attracted to them. But that's not how things work. Sure, some people will find them attractive, but it's not like everyone out there has to. 

I want to be able to have kids with the woman I date, a trans woman can't do that for me, as well, I can't be forced to be attracted to someone when I have no attraction towards them, because that's just outright weird and wrong. 

Respectful trans people aren't like this though, they won't push people into dating them. The ones that do this, are awful people. Sorry to say it, but if you're anyone who says someone has to be attracted to them, or says their bad for not being attracted to them, then you're a bad person. 

I'm all for people being happy, but this doesn't sound like happiness to me. Find someone who loves you, don't expect everyone to want you. 

[Stacey]

There are plenty of trans people who are realistic and know they will likely only find relationships with other trans people. I feel like the only ones who find partners in heterosexuals are extremely passable. Very few are. You have to be built right for it genetically and you usually have to spend a good amount on plastic surgery for this to be the case. I can only think of maybe 5 or 10 trans women and trans men who are passable. 

An issue I have is people who have no intention of transitions calling themselves trans. If you are wearing a dress and make-up but have no intentions of changing your gender, then you are not trans. I have a friend who is trans and watching her go through the process and overcoming so much... It pisses me off when people think they can just take the title and do what they please with it.

That being said, trans women should not be expecting straight men or lesbian women to date them just because they are trans or have fully transitioned. 

[Ella]

People who do this kind of stuff are likely doing it for attention. I always tell people to never paint the same picture on a difference surface. Not everyone is the same. Just because you have a group of people who all have the same sexual preferences or gender identity doesn't mean they are all the same.  It is a shame though because most people tend to just judge everyone based on the common denominator. 

That being said, what is happening to your friend is not okay. Sadly, many women feel like they are going unheard and it is forming groups who are actively against trans women now because of it.