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Needy vs Needed


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I feel like a lot of people confuse these two things in a relationship. Most people like to feel needed to a certain degree by their partner. It can be financial, moral, skill, or general care taking. Whatever the "need" is, they like to have it fulfilled. On the other hand you have "needy" people who will often put strain ont he relationship by expecting or outright demanding that their needs are met through social discourse, planning, money, ect. and most people do not want to be in a relationship like that as it is like being in a relationship with a spoiled child. Was just randomly thinking about this today.

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Yes I can agree with this. 

My wife will sometimes get annoyed with me if I start doing to many things to take care of myself. Over the years as we had more kids I have slowly tried to remove work load off of her plate and it was always met with a bit of resistance. She worried if I was taking care of myself what do I need her for. Had to explain its more then the things she does but the support from the partnership that makes it all great. 

Now I have also worked with people that when we traveled they would have to call and check in with their spouse every hour. I always thought it was a bit over the top since my routine was typically to send my wife a text message telling her good night just letting her know I was still alive. 

It is a fine line between needy and needed. 

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I can see this. I mean this tends to be more of an issue with women being needy and men just wanting to feel needed. Like if you are dating someone who needs you to text all the time, miss work for silly reasons, or just generally doesn't trust you when you are out of his/her sight then that is a problem. 

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I am what a lot of people would call "co-dependent" but so is my husband, so for us, it works out fine. I have been called needy in the past and I am okay enough with myself to admit that but the way it works in my marriage is that we are both equally as needy and both willing to help each other out. We never feel used. 

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