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How To Overcome Love Addiction


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Popular culture has a saying, “Love is a drug.”

I think there is some truth to that. Just like a drug that takes over your life, love addiction leaves you with an obsessive need to be with a partner. When I was younger, I was petrified at the thought of being alone. 

That led me to jump into new relationships as soon as the previous one ended, yet none of them gave me happiness. Loving someone deeply isn’t the issue. The problem arises when we are dependent on the love or person we love for feeling good.

Here are a few things I did to overcome love addiction:

#1 Acknowledge The Love Addiction: I didn’t want to admit that there was a problem because that would mean accepting the fact that I needed help. But when I finally faced my messy self, it was easier to get the help I needed. 

I took a pen and paper and wrote down the number of times I “fell in love” over the past few years. That's when it really hit me; there wasn’t a time in the past five years where I didn’t attach myself to someone obsessively.

#2 Learn About Human Behavior: once I finally sat down and considered my patterns and habits, I was curious to learn more. Reading books and watching several human psychology lectures online helped me understand my condition. After gathering so many experiences from other love addicts, I realized what I needed to work on the most was my relationship with myself.

#3 Get Comfortable With Being Alone: we have an intrinsic need to love and be loved. To add to that, popular media heavily fuels the idea of a partner who completes us or “The One” who saves us from our loneliness. This is how I felt too. I clung to my partner, forgetting all about my individual existence. 

If you are stuck in a pattern of constantly needing a romantic partner, maybe it’s time to be alone for a while. Stay single and rediscover the person you are outside of a love relationship.

#4 Take Care Of Your Emotional Needs: being stuck in a pattern of forming one relationship after the other will leave you with no time to heal. When we are constantly thinking about another person, in this case, a lover, we tend to neglect our needs and well-being. That is why it is so important to take the time to care for your emotional health. 

Have you ever been addicted to love? What steps did you take to overcome it?

 

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I have heard/read of love addiction being a bit different from this. It was not an addiction to the person or love itself but the oxytocin your brain releases when you are around the person. People who are addicted to this will almost always end the relationship when they aren't getting any more oxytocin or they will cheat to catch the buzz again. 

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On 10/14/2021 at 8:41 PM, Stacey said:

I have heard/read of love addiction being a bit different from this. It was not an addiction to the person or love itself but the oxytocin your brain releases when you are around the person. People who are addicted to this will almost always end the relationship when they aren't getting any more oxytocin or they will cheat to catch the buzz again. 

I remember reading about this years ago when they first started studying the hormone. They consider it to be a bonding hormone as the highest rate of release happens when a woman is giving birth. Some doctors believe women with low amounts of oxytocin during childbirth are those most likely to suffer from postpartum depression.

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