How do you deal with naggers?

[Emma]

A friend of mine has a very stubborn somewhat narcissistic mother who constantly nags her. She has no option but to deal with it right now because she still lives at home. Because of debt from school and covid lockdowns costing her the job she had (the business shut their doors earlier this year) she hasn't been able to get on her feet enough to move out. How can one deal with a person who constantly nags them over everything?

[James]

Since we can not control how other people behave your friend is going to need to try harder to move out. 

I have had family members in similar situations and my suggestion was always just to work more to get away from the person that is bothering you and to save up enough money to get yourself out of the situation. 

Your friend can try talking to the other person about how much the nagging makes them feel but it is unlikely the offending party is going to change based off a conversation. 

 

[Ella]

I agree with James, she needs to focus on herself and get out the house as much as possible. Consider it a place to sleep and keep her stuff, that is about it. Some parents have a hard time letting go of that dominance they had over their children from when they were kids and still treat their adult children as if they are only 10 years old. 

[James]

18 hours ago, Ella said:

I agree with James, she needs to focus on herself and get out the house as much as possible. Consider it a place to sleep and keep her stuff, that is about it. Some parents have a hard time letting go of that dominance they had over their children from when they were kids and still treat their adult children as if they are only 10 years old. 

I am pretty sure at some point I would nag my kids all the time if they were to old and still living at home. I need them to spread their wings and fly. I would not want to make home a comfortable place for them to live after a certain point. 

[Sophia]

Someone in my family still has their adult child living at home. He is going to be 35 years old. His bedroom is always a mess and a fire hazard yet the mother nags and complains and the father does nothing. I think all three of them have become comfortable in what they have and don't care if it never changes. It is sad. Tell her she doesn't want to end up like that. Get back on her feet ASAP!