Could you forgive a parent who was once abusive, but changed?

[Lana]

I thankfully was never abused by my parents or anyone else in my family. But I know friends and other family who weren't so lucky. I'm speaking about child abuse in the way of being hit by a parent, berated or yelled at constantly etc. If you were treated by any of your parents that way back when you were a kid, would you ever consider forgiving them one day? Maybe one of them changes their bad ways, apologizes and gets better. Would you forgive them for the past? 

I can't say what I would do, as my parents were mostly good to me. Discuss. 

[James]

I have never had to go through this myself. 

I do know other people that have gone through these kinds of situations where they had a rough upbringing due to abusive parents. I can tell you that those people still are angry about what happened in the past but they are able to keep themselves composed enough to have short visits still with the offending parent. 

So I would say partial forgiveness takes place. 

I can see full forgiveness is maybe the parent had a bad drug or alcohol problem but has been clean for about a decade or so. Likely if that parent was clean and apologized for the past there is no better outcome someone could ask for at that point. 

In the end we can not let the past hold us back so forgiveness should always come with time. We can not dwell on what was but we must focus on what is to come. 

Everything that made you who you are today, all the situations you have been through to get to where you currently are, everyone of those things helped build who you are today. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. 

[Damon]

I think if there is noticeable change and they are trying to make things right, I think I would forgive. But, it depends on the son/daughter in this scenario. Because  some people won't forgive, even if you change your life around. Hate is strong and some people hold onto that hate. 

I think I would forgive. Because having hate, won't get you very far. 

[Stacey]

I have a half brother who's father was abusive. He abused our mother when she was married to him and abused my brother when he was a child. She ended up eventually leaving but he was already 9 by then. He had experienced a lot of stress and trauma. Needless to say, he was able to forgive him. My mother never was and still hates that he goes and spend time with him. He is in his late 30's now.