What causes more issues between couples: Finances and Children?

[Scarlett]

It seems as though divorces where no infidelity are preset are caused directly or indirectly by money issues or children. I am curious to see what you guys think here. Do you think troubled finances play a bigger role in people splitting up or issues with raising children together?

[Carson]

It depends on the couple. Sure some may leave due to money issues, but I wouldn't say children really have an effect unless one spouse is hurting them. 

To answer your question, I think finances cause bigger issues. Because that money is needed for your whole family, and I think it's what causes issues for a lot of people. 

Also, you have to consider that sometimes people ask for a divorce because they're bored or just not into their spouse any longer. And that's one other reasons couples divorce. 

[Stacey]

The only time children lead to divorce is if the relationship was already flawed before children became a thing. You have to be on the same page with everything... world views, how you want to raise your kids, where they will go to school, making sure they have a proper diet, and so on. 

[James]

These two things both lead to friction in a relationship. 

Your spouse and you need to be aligned like an arrow for things to flow smoothly. If you are not aligned in your values and end goals their will be friction along the way. 

This is why money and children can cause problems and pretty quickly. 

If one party is spending money on something that the other party does not want or see as important then you have friction. 

The same with children. Your child does something wrong and you and your spouse want to solve it differently that is going to cause trouble over time. 

Just like @Stacey said a couple needs to be in total alignment. If they are not then that is something they need to spend some time doing.

If you do not know where you are going how are you ever going to figure out how to get there?  

[Emma]

I know it is frowned upon today but if you go on a date and you really like the person, I think it is important to talk about finances, children, marriage, ect. because it can happen fast and you don't want to find yourself loving someone you are not compatible with. I would say finances cause more issues than kids but when it comes down to it, people are just marrying the wrong people for them.

[Quinten]

Well finances are a given in any relationship, but finances also a part of child care, because you're probably paying the most for child care than anything else. Having children is very costly. But, I think most parents care deeply for their own children, and understand there's going to be a cost there. I would say finances are the big issue, because spouses often do lie to each other about their own spending, and so I can see that causing enough friction in a relationship to turn into divorce or a breakup. 

I think it's a mismatch of people, and or one or the other falling out of love. I don't think children are ever to blame for a divorce, because I don't think they can be the reason. I think it's more to do with finances, and just people falling out of love or other issues between couples. Having kids may add to the problems, but it's not the root of the problem.