How To Overcome A Crush On A Coworker

[TopicStarter]

Having a “work wife” or a “work husband” is not out of the ordinary. These are simply platonic nicknames reserved for a colleague you may spend a lot of time with, and don’t imply anything more – which is sometimes for the best. 

Office romances can get messy – after all, there is a reason why mixing personal and professional life is never advised. What’s more, work personas do not always reflect how a person is in real life. In other words, falling for someone at work could mean you are attracted only to a part of them.

On the flip side, navigating a crush on a coworker is tricky – and not just because they may find you scrawling their name all over your diary. Sometimes, it is against company policy for coworkers to date. And other times, they may be your boss – which implies a power imbalance.

That said, I highly recommend that you wait it out to see if your crush subsides. Here are a few tips to help you:

#1 Be honest with yourself: notice how you get out of coffee-stained pajamas, take a shower and make yourself presentable before heading to work? There is a high chance that even your coworker presents the most polished version of themself before clocking in.

That said, be honest about why you have suddenly developed feelings – and don’t get swayed by potential. Often, the mystery of not knowing what goes on behind their professional exterior leads to cooking up fantasies that only come true in movies. 

#2 Build a life outside work: sometimes staying at the workplace around the clock may make you feel like your coworker is the last potential mate left on earth. But trust me, there are plenty of fish in the sea. 

At the same time, you don’t have to replace your crush with another romantic interest. Keeping yourself busy with activities, reconnecting with loved ones, night-outs at a pub with friends – all are good ways to take your mind off it. And who is to say you won’t find a better suitor while out of the town?

#3 Confess: a crush can last a day or for years, but it is probably best to wait it out for a few months. That said, make an active effort to shake off the feelings and distance yourself from them during this time. Wallowing and fantasizing about “what if’s” will only make your crush seem dreamier. 

If all fails, you can either open up to them and see where it takes you. Whether your advances are reciprocated or not, only take this step if the crush is worth losing the job over. 

Is this a problem you have faced? What steps did you take to get through it? 

[Sophia]

Usually crushes on people are short lived. I think it is a good idea to just not focus on it so much. Focus on work. If after a few months, like you mentioned, you still have feelings for the person then you should just approach them about it. However, if they are in a relationship (especially married) you never do this.

[Mila]

I had this happen at my first job. I actually had a crush on my manager! I was 17 at the time and he was 34 and married with kids! I would never, ever act on it or allow anything to happen from it even if he showed interest in me. I just liked his sense of humor. After a few months, I got over it and was crushing on someone else I worked with. He actually liked me back... Was not married, no kids... But I chose not to act on it because he was again, much older than me. I think he was 31 and I was 19. I think men have a harder time not acting on this stuff than women but I could be wrong!