How To Overcome Stubbornness

[TopicStarter]

Being stubborn is a natural response. It’s the persistent urge to control situations to go the way you and I would want them to. Not being in control can be a scary feeling, and it often makes one lash out to maintain this sense of control. 

Now, many conflicts can be resolved with an understanding conversation and a bit of empathy. However, the same conflicts tend to escalate when one or more parties are stubborn. This cycle of increasing hostility and escalation of a trivial issue can be emotionally draining for everyone involved. 

Knowing when to hold your ground and stand up for your opinions. Or, when to allow the other to have their way can be a tricky balance. 

Some points that I keep in mind to reel in my stubborn tendencies are: 

#1. Keep in mind that you are human: As human beings, you and I both are flawed in unique ways. After all, “to err is to be human”, as the saying goes. No one has all the correct answers all the time, especially me. 

#2. Practice compromise: Allowing others to have their way in matters that you may not be as invested in as they are will help you let go more easily. It establishes a closer relationship of respect for each other’s opinions. At the same time, you will learn how to not be the one in control over small matters and gradually compromise over more significant issues.

#3. Be patient: Before making up your mind and forming an opinion or conclusion, pause and consider the whole story. Look at the matter from the other party’s perspective, and then decide what stance to take. This will allow you to control emotions from dictating your response and making wiser, more straightforward decisions.

#4. Be aware of your stubborn tendencies: Having the ability to realize when you are stubborn can help determine whether or not the problem calls to stand your ground, allow for a compromise, or let go of the situation completely. It also reveals what conditions may cause you to engage in stubborn tendencies.

#5. Slowly build up trust: Stubbornness stems from a lack of control; so, to develop healthier relationships, learn to trust others. Start with low-risk engagements, and gradually move into more significant situations as you become comfortable and build trust. Remember, the world is not set against you; those who are, well, they are simply the exception!

What are some ways you have used to overcome stubbornness? 

[Scarlett]

Humans are naturally stubborn because we hate change. Everyone does. Some people are just able to adapt better than others and changes big or small have little impact on their stress levels. I guess that is the key. Being able to go with the flow when you need to. 

[Jeremy_CLK]

Very true. And i related with #2! We often get stubborn because we fail to compromise. We usually don't like putting ourselves in the other person's shoe. This is often the cause of many disagreements. It is important to listen and give room for compromise. Understand that you are both neither wrong or right.