How do you deal with family who are offensive/racist etc?

[Brenden]

I'm sure you have some family you would deem to be quite offensive and rude. Maybe even has some hate in their bones. How do you deal with a family member who is offensive and possibly racist? I try not to socialize with any family that is racist or has bad opinions or happens to be hateful in general. How do you deal with family like this? I have a gay cousin, and our aunt is against the idea of it, as she's really religious. My cousin came out to the family a few years ago, and she just scoffed at him for it, saying it was a "phase" that he "better get out of soon". She then went to her room for the night, no one said much to her when she left the morning after. 

Anyway, she still goes on about it, even after my cousin announced he was getting married to his boyfriend of 5 years. I was finally fed up with it, and told her to F off. And told her that this wasn't her life to dictate, and that she should worry about her own damn life and stop worrying about others. 

She shut up for a bit after that, but went to her room mumbling something. 

idk, maybe sometimes it's just best to ignore them, or just flat out tell them to shut up, because maybe they need exactly that sometimes. 

[Damon]

Ignore them, or flat out call them out. Sometimes ignoring is the way to go, because most of the time, you can't change a family member who's racist or hateful. I try to ignore them, but if they're to a point where I can't stand them, I may consider calling them out when they do something dumb.

I think most of my family steers clear of the bad apples, at least for the most part. 

[James]

Yeah really all you can do is ignore them. It does not sound like your Aunt is going to change her mind and she has her right to her opinion. Sounds like one of those family members that I would make a point of never being around. Likely always busy when something comes up that would bring us together. I am not a huge fan of confrontation especially between family members so I would just ignore it. 

 

[Stacey]

Just don't waste your energy on them. If they act racist or anything like that in your presence, just let it be known you don't agree with it and you won't be spending time around them if they are going to be that way. Some people don't really understand what they are saying and doing because they are so stuck in their ways. It helps to let them know when they are crossing the line.

[bomb]

To deal with this, i will borrow from the stoicism teaching, that how people feel and perceive of you or life is outside your control. It will be wise to keep distance. Staying away from such people will help you more than trying to get them to stop being racist. It takes time to get the racism notion from someone. It is even harder to get them to forget or stop what they truly believe in and adopt your way of thinking.