Stopping thoughts of the past?

[Ella]

Does anyone else think back to events or moments in their life where they think of how they could have done things differently? I do this a lot and my husband told me that I need to stop revisiting the past and trying to fix things that have already been done. I think he is right. I want to stop thinking of this kind of stuff but how do I do it?

[James]

History is important to learn from but we can not dwell on the shoulda, coulda, woulda types of possibilities. That is a waste of time for our mind to think if only I would have done X. 

With my wife and I we have a rule that if it happened more then 6 months ago it can not be used in an argument. 

The focus should be on the future and how we are going to make that as good as possible and not looking backwards. Reflection is important and learning from our paste mistakes is critical. Letting it eat up any more bandwidth then that though I would not think is a very productive activity. 

[Rachel]

Sure all the time. I think about the times I did weird things in elementary school, or other times throughout my childhood. But, I gradually think less and less of those issues. I find that I don't care as much anymore, and sometimes even laugh about the dumb things I did as a kid and teen. 

And I think it's partly a way to grow and show yourself that you can change. If that makes sense. 

[Sophia]

Instead of focusing on the past, think to the future and live in the now! Easier said than done, I know but it makes a world of difference! I used to do this myself where I would think back years ago or even just a few months ago, thinking of things I would have said/done differently and there is no point. It is like watching the same TV show hoping something new happens when you already know how each episode ended. 

[Xavier MG]

On 7/11/2021 at 11:09 PM, Ella said:

Does anyone else think back to events or moments in their life where they think of how they could have done things differently? I do this a lot and my husband told me that I need to stop revisiting the past and trying to fix things that have already been done. I think he is right. I want to stop thinking of this kind of stuff but how do I do it?

You should actually stop dwelling on the past. We should let bygones be bygones. But it understand, it is very hard. We often base our decision on the past events, hence ending up making wrong moves. So you just must make deliberate efforts yourself to stop thinking about your past mistakes or failures. They will just stress you up unnecessarily. 

[Rachel]

5 hours ago, Xavier MG said:

You should actually stop dwelling on the past. We should let bygones be bygones. But it understand, it is very hard. We often base our decision on the past events, hence ending up making wrong moves. So you just must make deliberate efforts yourself to stop thinking about your past mistakes or failures. They will just stress you up unnecessarily. 

That's easier said than done though, because some people have pasts that weigh heavy on them, even years later. Eventually you will stop worrying about the past, and even some will come to terms about it and forgive the past, but some still can't get over the past. 

I wish it were easy to forget the bad parts of your life. But the human mind can be awful in that it forces you sometimes to think about the bad from your past. 

[Ella]

On 8/9/2021 at 7:25 AM, Xavier MG said:

You should actually stop dwelling on the past. We should let bygones be bygones. But it understand, it is very hard. We often base our decision on the past events, hence ending up making wrong moves. So you just must make deliberate efforts yourself to stop thinking about your past mistakes or failures. They will just stress you up unnecessarily. 

Oh I wish it was that simple! It is hard to fight thoughts like this cause the more you fight them, the more bothersome they become. The brain can be a real sob lol

A friend of mine suggested that I need to find things to keep me more busy, less idle time and all that to dwell.