How To Overcome Infatuation

[TopicStarter]

Remember the feeling of butterflies in the stomach when you see your crush? Or how dazed you were when they finally spoke to you? Being infatuated with someone feels like riding an emotional rollercoaster where you are flooded with exhilarating excitement and fascination.

But, when the roller coaster goes downhill, it brings with it unbearable and unhealthy feelings like depression and obsession. This excessive attention to one person doesn't seem like it could hurt you, but it does. 

Spending hours daydreaming about them, constantly waiting for them to call, desperately wanting to see them can damage your mental health significantly. Unrequited feelings can lead to despair, terrible loneliness, jealousy, and not feeling good enough. 

Having gone through a severe phase of turbulent infatuation, I can tell you about a few things I did to get over it.

#1 Realize That They Are Flawed

Yes, they look drop-dead gorgeous, their voice is the sweetest, and you would rather spend every waking moment with them. But, due to the dopamine flooding in the brain, you tend to view them as flawless celestial nymphs descended from heaven. 

The problem with this perception is that it's simply not true. Like any other human, the object of your affection is flawed in more ways than you think. So, remove them from the lofty pedestal and view them as any regular human.

#2 Talk to Them

If you are fascinated with someone you haven't spoken to yet, the main reason for this attraction is based on their physical appearance. Sometimes we like the idea of being with someone who looks a certain way when their values and personality might not attract us at all.

After spending months preoccupied with the thought of one person, I mustered up the courage to go and talk. In the first conversation, I realized that our values and interests were poles apart, and my attraction fizzled out almost instantly.

#3 Distract Yourself With Other Activities

The reason why it is difficult to stop thinking about your crush is because the chemicals released in the brain are addictive. So, it will help if you chalk out activities for the day, which will keep you distracted from thinking about this person obsessively. Join a sport that keeps your mind occupied or spend some time developing valuable skills. 

Alternately, schedule calls with friends or family and talk about loads of different topics without mentioning the person you are infatuated with. These daily activities will keep you busy with less time to obsess over one person.

Have you ever had to overcome infatuation? What steps did you take to get yourself through it? 

[Ella]

I felt this way about my husband. We were friends for a good 6 months as I secretly really liked him, A LOT. The feelings were not going away so a friend of mine just said to tell him, what do I have to lose? Well... We clicked! We have been married for 7 years now!