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How To Overcome Power Struggle In Relationship


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Whether your relationship is budding or a seasoned one, there is no escape from power struggles as a couple. And, although it is customary to fight occasionally, ongoing competition for power damages both individuals.

This stage inevitably creeps into relationships when either partner expects the other to always live up to their expectations. Eventually, frustration sets in when they behave differently from what was previously envisioned. 

Earlier in my marriage, we fought often, and it felt like we were walking on eggshells around each other. The smallest disagreements turned into a competition of who can find the most faults with each other. 

Both of us knew that this resentment had to change or it would end our marriage. Thankfully, with extensive patience and work, we were able to change our dynamic.

Here are some things my partner and I did to avoid bitter power struggles in our marriage:

#1 Embrace Gentle Communication

I had to learn this the hard way, but not all fights need to end up in a shouting match. It's perfectly possible to disagree with your partner and have a regular conversation about it. 

Earlier, whenever my partner made decisions without informing me, I would get into a heated debate about "what you should have done." Now I know the same thing can be communicated in a civil manner without losing my temper.

#2 Redefine Your Rules

When it comes to daily life, an excellent way to improve power struggles is to discuss and define rules and roles. When both of you have precise tasks, there is less room for argument. 

My partner has a bad back, so we decided I would do all the cleaning, and she would take care of the cooking. Sure we help each other out from time to time, but there are lesser incidences of blaming and bickering ever since.

#3 Lose Some Arguments

In the moment of a heated fight, it is tempting to lay out all your partner's faults. It is not essential to win every argument; what's important is to reach a common understanding patiently. Lose some arguments to prevent bitterness from brewing into your relationship.

#4 Take Some Time For Yourself

Everyday life is already stressful, and if you add constant fights and bickering to the mix, life will only get more miserable. Know that it's alright to need some alone time, away from work, your partner, kids, and responsibilities. It doesn't have to be a long vacation; small breaks to reset your mind and regain balance will go a long way.

Have you had to overcome a power struggle in a relationship? What steps did you take to get through it?

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